2007

09
Apr 07

Five Things

Now that I’m back to blogging, I’d better catch up on a long overdue task. My office colleague Arto Bendiken pinged me with the Five Things meme, so here goes: Five Things you probably didn’t know about me:

  1. I’ve climbed down an 800 foot smoke stack. Not sure I can tell this story… but what the heck, it was a long time ago…

    As a young co-op student working at Georgia Power’s Plant Yates, my co-op colleague Eric Garris came in one morning and informed me that the Plant Manager wasn’t in that day, and this was our grand opportunity to take the elevator to the top of the smoke stack and look around. So we squeezed into the rickety old cage elevator, and rattled our way to the top of the 800 foot structure. We looked around a bit, discovered some Playboy magazines up there, and decided to head on down. (I’m afraid of heights.) Getting back in the elevator, we pressed the down button, over and over. The elevator fought hard, but wouldn’t move. After a couple tries, we heard a boom from below, and the elevator was dead.

    Couple minutes later we discovered the elevator had a phone. They were calling, “Who the HECK is up there!!!”. “Uh, hi! It’s the coops! :)”…”You idiots, you burned out the elevator motor!” Turned out, we didn’t realize the elevator locks when it reaches the top, and you have to unlock it before it will move.

    The bad news is that they told us we had to climb down an emergency ladder that scales the entire inside wall of the smoke stack. I begged for them to fly in a helicopter, but no-can-do. I was in tears as I climbed out of the elevator, and made the hair-raising swing over and onto the ladder. (After Eric, of course– I wasn’t about to have him falling and knocking me off the ladder…)

    After, I don’t know, a few hours (?) we made it down, both covered in soot and looking like those cartoons characters after an explosion.

    Next morning, the plant manager was about to fire us, but then we were saved by an idea! About a month later, me and Erik appeared on the cover of the company wide “Safety” magazine. The article read, “On a routine inspection of the smoke stack, coop students Matt Henderson and Erik Garris found themselves stuck in a malfunctioning elevator. Due to their familiarity with safety procedures and training, they were able to safely escape the situation!”

  2. I’ve trekked to the Base Camp area of Mount Everest.

    My wife, three friends and I (and a German guide) spent two weeks trekking from Lukla (a mountain city in Nepal) to the base camp area of Mount Everest. Since all the expeditions had returned home, we foregoed going to the actual base camp, instead choosing to climb the nearly 6000 meter peak of Kala Patar.

    Climbing that mountain, with 50% oxygen in my blood, must have been the most difficult physical thing I’ve ever done. After what seemed like an eternity, I reached the top, pulled out the camera, snapped a picture of Everest, packed up, and headed down.

    A few weeks later, back home, I had the film developed, and discovered that the very peak of Everest was obscured in the photo by the bill of my hat! Three. Weeks. Of. Trekking. and I get a chopped off picture of Everest.

  3. I’ve been cussed out by ex-Van Halen lead singer, David Lee Roth.

    My high school best friend, Todd Stover, and I were major fans of David Lee Roth, and traveled around (anywhere practically) to see him play. We drove one weekend to somewhere in Alabama, and given that the floor seating was first-come / first-serve, we camped out for hours at the door, to be the first in line.

    We ended up first row, and they sat everybody down on the floor, as we waited for Cinderella to come out (they were the warm-up band). The guards working the stage told us that many of us were heading to the hospital within an hour. “What???!!!” They told us that as soon as the lights went out, everybody sitting on the floor would stand up, and rush forward, and that many of us would get crushed against the barrier.

    Sure enough, lights out, and I experienced something I never want to experience again. I had no control of my body, as I was lifted a few inches off the ground by the mass of people and moved left, right, left and right again. I watch as my friend Todd drifted off in the opposite direction. We waved bye-bye to each other. Pretty soon unconscious bodies were being passed overhead to the guards. It was unreal.

    I got shifted left, and eventually spit out on the side next to the big speakers. I decided to leave the floor, and climb up into the seats. (I didn’t really pay attention to who I was sitting next to.)

    So eventually Dave comes over, jumps up on the speaker, and sings, “…Reach down, between my legs, ease the seat back…” Then, SMACK, he gets hit with a ball of ice in his face.

    He stops the music, mad as can be, and gets them to shine the spotlight down on us — on ME! He looks at me and starts cussing me out. I’m in shock. I can’t repeat all he said, but it included what he’d do to my GIRLFRIEND. My girlfriend!!!??? I look to my left, and there’s this fat girl sitting there eating a bucket OF ICE! So Dave sees this girl, and assumed I’d thrown the ice!

    After the concert, back at the car, my friend Todd says, “Oh man, can you believe what happened to that dude that threw the ice!!”. “Yeah, Todd, I can believe it…”

  4. I was a European Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gold medalist.

    Ok, it was the senior division, blue belt, ad the 73 kg weight class, but I beat everybody to become the European BJJ champion last year.

  5. I love country music. (Hey, I grew up in Duluth, Georgia. What do you expect?)

    The sappier the better. It’s one of the things I miss most about the United States. There just aren’t any country music stations in this part of Spain. Thank goodness for iTunes.

And with that, the meme stops here. :)

08
Apr 07

Back to blogging…

Wow, it’s been a long time, but I’m back to blogging. Business has been going well, and that’s received most of my non-family time, but things are settling down, and some blogging time should free up now.

What’s new:

  • Bought an Apple TV and a new Phillips 32″ LCD screen. I’m in love! Oh how I’m waiting for the “Connect to iTunes store” button. That’ll be all she wrote for me.

  • Finished up The Wade, and it’s now on the market. The Wade is Henderson & Henderson’s latest home on Georgia’s Lake Lanier.

  • Launched the new MLK.com site back in February. MLK wanted a Flash site, so we architected a hybrid Flash/XHTML/CSS site using Flex and integrating with a back-end Ruby on Rails application. It’s one of the most advanced web applications we’ve built to date! (Dang do we have some rock stars in MakaluMedia!)

  • Won a contract to build a site for some successful people in the US, that’s going to make big positive environmental impact. Got a lot of high profile backing. I’m super excited to see where it leads!

  • Had to make a difficult business decision. Hope it was the right one.

  • Gotten heavily into GPS. More on that later…

  • Business wise, made the big decision to reduce our client work in the Spain office, and go for the development and selling of own product. We’re brewing on a few ideas, and hope to have the plate clean and ready to start work in September. If you’re a Rails developer with a passion for user experience, we’d love to talk to you.

  • Lost my digital camera, and replaced it with a Canon IXUS 850. I love the wide angle!

  • Was requested to make dinner tonight, and had the fun experience of trying to figure out where my wife would have logically stored the pasta sauce. Laundry room next to the vacuum cleaner? (It’s been there in the past.) Nope. Behind the paper towels? (been there too…) Nope. “Honey, where’s the past sauce?”… “It’s either in the laundry room, or behind the paper towels.” … “Uh, no, I’ve checked there.” [hair dryer starts from upstairs...] “Honey? Honey?” Great. Ah ha! Almost behind the coffee machine. Should have been obvious…

24
Jan 07

Skype’s Top-Secret Artificial Intelligence Based Customer Support System (AKA: Sandra Valle)

I’ve made an interesting discovery — Skype Support is run by a buggy computer system, code named “Sandra Valle”, that attempts to use artificial intelligence to read your mail, interpret it, and send out a canned response.

I placed an order for some Skype phones. They never arrived, even though the Skype website reported them as being delivered. Following is the transcript of my attempt to get assistance with the issue.

=============================

Hello Matt,

Thank you for contacting Skype Support.

You’ve contacted Skype Support which deals with Skype services (Skype accounts, Skype PC to PC internet telephony, SkypeOut, SkypeVoicemail, etc).

For any questions regarding hardware orders and other physical products on the Skype Accessories Shop we kindly ask you to contact the Skype Accessories Shop customer support team who will be able to help you with your order.

http://accessories.skype.com/info?&page=HelpTicketSubmit

Please make sure that the country shown on the top left of the page is the country you have ordered from.

If you have not yet placed an order in the Skype Accessories Shop, please do not choose the following categories:

  • Where is my order
  • Other issues related to my order

Only for above two categories the order number is necessarily required

Sandra Valle

SKYPE SUPPORT

=============================

From: Matt Henderson To: Sandra – Skype Support

Hello,

The link that you provided below will not accept my order number. I have spent more than one hour going through your site, and couldn’t find any other option to request help.

Can you please provide some assistance.

Kind regards,

– Matt Henderson

=============================

On Jan 14, 2007, at 7:25 PM, Sandra – Skype Support wrote:

Hello Matt,

Thank you for contacting Skype Support.

You’ve contacted Skype Support which deals with Skype services (Skype accounts, Skype PC to PC internet telephony, SkypeOut, SkypeVoicemail, etc).

For any questions regarding hardware orders and other physical products on the Skype Accessories Shop we kindly ask you to contact the Skype Accessories Shop customer support team who will be able to help you with your order.

http://accessories.skype.com/info?&page=HelpTicketSubmit

Please make sure that the country shown on the top left of the page is the country you have ordered from.

If you have not yet placed an order in the Skype Accessories Shop, please do not choose the following categories:

  • Where is my order
  • Other issues related to my order

Only for above two categories the order number is necessarily required

Sandra Valle

SKYPE SUPPORT

=============================

From: Matt Henderson To: Sandra – Skype Support

For goodness sake, will you please READ my email before replying with this boilerplate text.

  1. I have placed an order with Skype, from the Spain store.

  2. The telephones (Skype phones) I ordered never arrived, although from the Skype website, they appear as being shipped.

  3. The Skype Spain accessories store feedback form will NOT accept my order number, 4565-0433533-001, therefore it is IMPOSSIBLE to submit a support ticket.

Please re-read number (3) ten more times, so that you stop replying to me with a suggestion to visit a form that won’t accept my order number!

If you do not respond to this email with some type of assistance, I am going to contact my lawyer, and begin a procedure to file a consumer complaint against this organization.

Kind regards,

– Matt Henderson

=============================

Hello Matt,

Thank you for contacting Skype Support.

Unfortunately, we have been experiencing extremely high volumes and as a result we are very sorry that we have not been able to get to your request for Billing Support in as timely a manner as we would like. As many issues have been resolved already, we are hopeful that your request is among them.

If your specific request has not been resolved, we genuinely apologize and will be happy to help you. Would you please try:

Knowledgebase – http://support.skype.com/?_a=knowledgebase User Guides – http://www.skype.com/help/guides/

Also, our forums are an excellent resource to help people get answers to specific billing issues.http://www.skype.com/community/forums.html

If your issue has not been resolved, and neither of these methods has helped, please contact us again, and we will do our best to respond as quickly as possible!

Again, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.

Sandra Valle

SKYPE SUPPORT

=============================

From: Matt Henderson To: Sandra – Skype Support

Hello there!

Thank you for your reply, and we apologize for the results of the last election. It really wasn’t our fault, even though the price of avocados has recently gone through the roof.

If you are in disagreement with color chosen for the cat’s socks, or the trolling motor that was stolen from the boat, please visit our forums, where users are happy to help with either. Some of them are even outstanding members of their own communities, and bank owners in the Caribbean.

Last, and certainly not least, please remember in your reply to make a small donation to your nearest zoo, in memory of Hunter Steve Irvin and the Dalai Lama. It could be tax deductible, unless we are presently in the year 2010.

Thanks again so much for your thoughtful reply. It is a pleasure to business with you, and the other coconuts at the outpost. And don’t hesitate to come back to me if this hasn’t cleared up the matter.

Sincerely,

– Matt Henderson

02
Jan 07

Word Count Journal Launches!

I’m happy to report we have just launched Word Count Journal:

http://wordcountjournal.com

Trying to get this app launched over the holiday period has been one of the most insane, yet bizarrely interesting, thing I have ever done.

I’m home in Georgia (USA), for the holidays. Our designer is home in Helsinki (Finland), for the holidays. Our developer is in Berlin (Germany). Our system admin is in Dublin (Ireland). The application key stakeholders are in New York (USA) and Hawaii (USA).

What a ride. Note to self: Never try that again.

Mr. Murphy, and his famous law, have been with us every step of the way. Network access to the code repository server got increasingly flakey during the countdown. Internet Explorer didn’t approve of any of our web-standards-based styling modifications. The Apple G5 on which we run Trac apparently got into a squabble with Apache and Python, and refused to let them play together any longer. Oh, and one family member had a gall bladder attack.

Somehow, Skype, instant messaging, Trac, Skype, Basecamp, email, Skype, Red Sky Cafe’s Wifi system and coffee, a bit of Skype, and a good deal of tenacity got us through.

So WCJ is launched, and that’s good. Looking forward to see what kind of acceptance the app has. In the first two days of operation, we already have about 140 user journals created! (And that’s not counting any private journals!) So it’s looking good.

And we’ve got some amazing stuff on the way in 2007.

Next planned launch: Just around Easter! Hmmmm…